Well, I haven’t had too much time to type out a full blog post but it seems I have found a few hours to do this post!

At the beginning of this month (September) I ended my High School life to go get my G.E.D. in hopes to just be done with school and move on with life. I started G.E.D. preparation school and fought my old school district who decided they would put two invalid fines on me for locker locks, not surprising. -_-
In the second week of this school, one of my dads old co-workers/employees called him up and asked if I was able to possibly come down for an interview. Now note that I just turned 18, just got some small money, and JUST left High School and don’t even have my G.E.D.

Well I go down to Portland, OR. for the interview at a small start-up called Parent Child Interactive Online where I learned that they wanted to provide a secure way for a parent, government worker, or teacher to talk with thousands of psychologists and therapists from around the world in hopes to improve their child’s lives and living environment. I could tell from the initial interview that I was already hired but I didn’t want to blow it, towards the end I ended up with a part-time job there but I didn’t know my role.
The following week after that, they let me stay home and finish G.E.D. schooling so I could be eligible for the test; I finished school and found out my test was on October 2nd.

I went for a full week of working there and painstakingly learning how their environment works in the office. I learned the downtown Portland area and found out that voodoo donuts are not that great (my boss calls them evil pink boxes XD)
I have not done too much as I am still a “trainee” but I try my best to help out and understand how stuff works.. Overall I am excited to work there and hope to make a very productive effort for the company!

Moving on to more personal matters, I got a boyfriend whom I will not disclose his name but I will disclose his tumblr! (see link on the right)
He is beautiful and perfect for me, he treats me like I have wanted to be treated for a long time and honestly I don’t think I would be real happy to get up for work every day and go through this shit if I didn’t have him there to talk it over with <3
We unfortunately live like 10 miles apart so meeting up isn’t the easiest in the world but we’re trying our best!

Finally, IRC.
I have neglected most of IRC, Services has blown up and I have to put a lot of time into fixing that, I have lost contact with good IRC friends and developers and last but not least, found out died.’s death really made me disappointed because it said that nenolod didn’t give two shits about it. Nenolod and atheme remind me of something similar to McDonalds. Everyone goes to McDonalds at least once and you see them everywhere, but if you hate them because their food is total shit quality and they make you barf, your friends suddenly start hating you because you won’t eat there with them. McDonalds also competes with everyone and because they seem to be the biggest, they make smaller businesses look smaller and thus makes the smaller businesses go away (I am using McDonalds as an example, not that they actually do any of this).
To put it simple, Atheme has become so large that they can not care about shit. I am disappointed that IRC software now almost has a brand name on it like everything else in the world, and the software that is used is so generified you can find it anywhere.
I will say that I do not what so ever think that Atheme Services or the Atheme IRCd is shit, it is in fact a very powerful package and a very successful one at that but I will say that I do not support their development team at all.
The developers seem to care more about making atheme services bigger and squashing anyone who has any good idea and doesn’t want it under Atheme’s name.

For a long time I have used Anope and InspIRCd, two pieces of software I feel are not nenolod infested and powered by insane developers. I honestly don’t care to develop for IRC anymore, I would like to move to a better topic of interest since Atheme wants to make an Empire out of IRC and not a friendly chat environment.
As for, I am not using any of whatever shit nenolod or those kids who now use’s domain name. I will try to get ANT up and working properly (a software which nenolod and atheme hate because it’s written in C++ and designed to only be supported on open source POSIX systems plus it’s core is based on InspIRCd and Anope) and then use that from there-on.
The stuff that people sound like they’re replacing CIA with sounds like a bunch of scripts that someone sets up in their repo; I find this disappointing because the original point of CIA was to take the complexity out of development, admitted most developers can setup and do IT related tasks but most don’t want to. CIA was an easy way to get information to IRC for discussion, and fast, while allowing it to be integrated into other services such as web.

I have lots planned for ANT and I hope I can find some more time to work on it and get it going with a web page and possibly bring back the CIA experience. I explicitly said that there will be no group names in ANT’s development anymore (including Azuru) and the only credits are to the developers themselves. This is to hopefully prevent that nasty Atheme-like crap from being branded on my software.
When I get my first pay check I will be buying and then try to get a working shell.

But for now, I shall enjoy life, hope to finish ANT, hope to leave the IRC scene as I watch it fall into the clutches of the Atheme Empire, make bank from my job, and work on porting something called sysmond for fun!

Why I hate C programmers

C is a great language, I won’t lie, it’s faster than C++ in many ways, but I am a C++ programmer and I will probably be one for a very long time.
Recently a guy named nenolod has been interacting with me in different ways, he is a very strong and smart C programmer but he rags on C++ because of how “slow, bulky and ugly” it is. This is really one of the reasons why I hate the whole Atheme project, they criticize EVERYTHING around them that isn’t to their specifications. If it’s not a programming language then it’s the kinds of services you use or the IRCd you use, or even which fucking linux distro you use!

Today I was talking in #inspircd on ChatSpike and someone said they were going to learn C++, well here came nenolod, trotting along to ruin the day by spewing his propaganda about C and libmowgli (his library he wrote). To be quite honest, I made my projects in C++ because there’s a preexisting library which I can make use of and is relatively standard whereas C has a very minimal library (I am talking stuff like you can print to stdout and that’s it basically), I don’t need to make all the algorithms for my code, I don’t want to use someone elses crap library, I don’t want to have a bulky program because I have to write all these algorithms or use someone else’s library! (you can read logs at

I learned C++ as my first and primary language (ASM preceded that) mostly because that’s what was hot at the time of when I was a child, my whole dream was to learn C++ and now that I have learned it I am not going to drop it for someone’s shitty opinion. I learned that nenolod and Atheme do not really like anything that goes on in the computing market, good for them. They don’t need to push their damn opinion on other people. Now I know why Anope was created, why nenolod hates Anope and why Adam hates nenolod. I don’t plan on helping or porting ANYTHINGto Atheme for this very reason, someone else want’s to do it? go right the fuck ahead!

The 2nd reason I like C++ over C is that C doesn’t have much of a way of “binding” data together like C++ classes do, maybe structs but at that point, just use C++!
My project I call ANT (a replacement) is one I wrote in C++, if it were to be in C, I would have to write all the god forsaken algorithms to handle the stuff that the STL handles on it’s own (things like std::map and std::vector) along with I would have to handle wide char types in C instead of std::string in C++ (which seems to handle unicode just fine).

I may sound like a dumbass by saying all this, but honestly I could care less about your damn opinion. Learn the language you like, not the one everyone tells you to. Don’t spread your language around like it’s better than everything else, no language is better than the other, some languages just have differences.
And nenolod, just shut the fuck up. You’ve made it to the top of the list with your shit, no need to stomp on everyone else for it.
(oh btw, I specifically made ANT in C++ just to spite all the C programmers who brag so highly about their damn language, also I made it in C++ because nenolod was going to rebase CIA in a even worse language, JavaScript using some weird fuck form of node.js)

The IRC Drama Llama paied me a visit, part 3

So I realized that one of Nenolod’s plans for Atheme was to try and tightly integrate services into Charybdis (an ircd based off ircd-hybrid). Now InspIRCd has partially completed this in InspIRCd 2.1 but it’s incomplete and very beta. My thought is that I can eliminate this IRC Services Drama by Deprecating IRC Services all together.

If I can develop the modules and commands to integrate Services into InspIRCd 2.1 then I remove Anope AND Atheme and not need to worry about either. They can fight and bicker and I can watch with enjoyment. This will require a LOT of core rework in terms of how things like SASL is handled and how IRC Services work in general.
(But I am very excited to run InspIRCd 2.1 and develop the services for it as well)

Now, Network. I’ve been meaning to get to this and I have just been rambling about services for quite some time.
The network has been going UP and down and up and down in the last few months. After I decided SparqDev and Flux-Net should merge, mainly because SparqDev had enough web knowledge to make pretty HTML 5 web front-ends and because I wanted more people who understood what I do, things have gone down hill. Jk and I have fought more in the last few months than ever, mostly because I dislike how Jk’s first decision when something breaks is that we should restore it to the old way than try the new way and make it work (he did this with services, the switch from UnrealIRCd to InspIRCd, NameServers, and much more) or that he lacks in communication when it is needed. I admire that he is a great Server Admin and that he knows WAY more than I ever will in the phone market, but I don’t see him put out much more than a blog post every few months.

Now Tyler Strayhan (one of the people I brought from SparqDev) has been working mostly with me and the rest of SparqDev. He’s been helping manage the site design and my picky opinion and Cameron (who was the SparqDev leader) who’s left the group at this point because he couldn’t handle the stress of the move. I give a lot of respect for Tyler, but I know a LOT of my judgment is clouded when it comes to decision making with him seeing as I am sexually attracted to him, now I understand why people say don’t date your co-workers (not that I am nor ever will be dating him, but I will do almost anything for him). Tyler has a huge imagination though, and can sometimes loose sight of reality. He hasn’t been on IRC for long and I am trying to teach him the ways of IRC and how people in IRC should be handled but he assimilates them to skype and social networks a lot which causes problems. Him and Cameron also are not used to this being an IRC Network, not some kind of programming business. Yes, we can make money; No we cannot employ people!

Moving on to Cameron.
Cameron has been a bit of a pain the whole way and he really pissed me off when he said he was leaving after Tyler and I bent over backwards to make this whole merger work, which includes taking the double z out of Azuru (used to be Azzuru) which both me and Tyler liked better, deciding on a logo for our site, and much more and Cameron just decides that he doesn’t want to participate anymore. Now I had planned on losing Hyp and MunyMuny200 (both SparqDev members, I only ever really liked Cam and Tyler, Hyp was never around and Muny was just plain stupid) but I ran the risk of losing Cam, which I didn’t want. When Cam was apart of the merge, I was trying my best, even holding back my opinions on things and trying to be less picky (I get VERY picky) so he would stay, but instead he just leaves.

Because Cameron left, I wasn’t and still aren’t happy with him. I got into a twitter fight a few days back because he just decided that after screwing everything up he can leave, then thinks that I can’t be upset with him and that he gets a nice warm spot reserved for him when he comes back? I’m sorry, but even I have life problems and this whole merge has been a massive pain in my ass (there were days where I felt like such a failure in life in general that I contemplated suicide) and do you see me leaving? no. I hate sounding like an ass, but the Internet is brutal and to survive here you have to learn how it works, you can’t just come in and declare some new shit then move on from there.

Now I have some kind of rulebook or etiquette I need to write so ill steep on this next post and see if I can wrap up my “post series” here. I hope this all makes sense.

Well I am rather pissed off..

After fighting Qwest/CenturyLink’s DHCP server for many months trying to keep my Domain name IP addresses updated, finding ways around their stupid Port 25 (email server) blocking, and not having custom Reverse DNS hostnames, I finally asked my father if I can have a static ip. Now do realise I have been hosting my servers through this dingy, old, POS Linksys router from like 2007 that my dad uses in his network, a whole entire almost enterprise sized network is bottle necking into my dads network then to the internet. So I asked if I can have a static IP address and he denied me, I had all the money to pay monthly for the IP address and he said “Everything is calm and fast when you’re at school, but as soon as you get home, the internet becomes almost unusable”. Now coming from a free organisation that has little revenue this is really frustrating because i have been fighting my ISP for an internet address since the conception of Flux-Net.

The ‘bandwidth’ in use is that fucking minecraft server I have been increasingly having issues with, it uses around 2~3 Mib/s every day which is really hard to work with because I cannot take it down without hearing the world of Jk fall apart. We don’t have enough money for hosting the minecraft server on a actual VPS and Jk doesn’t have powerful enough servers for Minecraft so I am stuck hosting it.

I don’t know about them, I just think that his dingy router just can’t handle the connection rate that my PfSense firewall can because I have little to no issues downloading/uploading data/videos.

For everyone who asks why I don’t have a Static IP, this post explains it. Qwest wants $5 a month plus a $25 setup fee for a static IP, my dad wants me to provide more money for bandwidth.

And for everyone else who says I am obligated to hosting this crap *CAUGH*NIKO*CAUGH*,

Honestly, Flux-Net is stuck at bottlenecks of expansion now.. it is physically impossible for me to expand for many reasons:

  1. what I mentioned above
  2. Being I am out of cables for computers
  3. I am out of actual power sockets (outlets)
  4. I am probably using 13~14 Amps on a single 15 Amp circuit
  5. I have no more ideas on hosting that does not require $10,000 servers with extreme CPU power

*sigh* just have to wait for when I move out somewhere and can host this crap in some house somewhere, with a nice job and a boyfriend. Life sucks atm. -_-

My network is communist

"Why do you say that?" you might ask, well when I started this network, it was with the intention for me to use it as my "sandbox" and anyone who wanted to benefit from it could. Well lately I have forgotten that fact, and now I find myself increasingly obligated to host stuff and keep things online when I really forgot that this IS my sandbox. While I don’t appreciate that people sap off me like people do in a communist economy, I do believe that I can stop at any point (which is partly why I stopped most development) and that I can simply deny all this; not that I want to, it would render my servers useless and purposeless which is not what I want to do. I do want people to at least contribute more, I understand some cant do as much as others.

One thing my father did tell me is that I should document what I have done and make a sort of portfolio so I can show it to future employers as a way of helping me with getting a job. I guess that is true if they are able to review my crappy coding style and see if there is something they do/don’t like (sloppy coding style) when they hire me. I do think that managing a somewhat huge network would be a nice mark on my portfolio… I also think that VMWare and dell certifications would be more nice marks.. While I don’t plan on going to college (I find stuff I already know somewhat boring) I do plan on doing my best to look better than those college graduates, since college seems to look more like high school degrees in this world, I guess if I do things right I can succeed over the other dull portfolios turned in as a job application.

I guess the point is, I really just want people to contribute more to the network instead of just me, I didn’t make one sandbox, these sandboxes ARE modular.

*Edit* By contribute, I don’t just mean host some daemons, I mean host daemons and find a way of hosting more or building more, this is a sandbox, not the lawn.